Theatre of Blood: Winter of Discontent
by bannonluke
Summary: An Alternate ending to the Vincent Price movie theatre of blood. What if Edward and Edwina Lionheart hadn't died? What if the theatre hadn't been set alight? What if Lionheart won?  Contains violence and character death.


THEATRE OF BLOOD: WINTER OF DISCONTENT

Author's note: This idea has been in my head for a while now. There is only one thing that stops _Theatre of Blood_ being my favourite Vincent Price movie, and that is the ending, which Edwina and Edward are killed and Devlin lives. So I decided to come up with my own ending instead.

As the blades worked their way towards Devlin, Edward Lionheart couldn't help but grin. Finally, after all those years of ridicule, he would have his revenge. The mood was however spoiled when he heard police sirens coming in the distance.

"Father!" Edwina said desperately. Edward turned to her, sighed and nodded.

"Give me my long sword." He said wearily.

Edwina produced a gun from her pocket, which had a sword drawn on the side.

"I hate it when they modernise the text." He said, as Edwina depressed the trigger. The bullet caught Devlin straight between the eyes, killing him instantly.

Edward paused to take this all in. He'd won! His vengeance was now complete. His nemesis was dead.

"Well?" Edwina asked, anxiously.

"I thought it would feel," Edward said, trying to think of the words, "more satisfying."

"Things won are done, joy's soul lies in the doing." Edwina replied.

Edward didn't have time to ponder these words, as the sirens grew nearer. He walked to the centre of the stage, and raised his hands. The award was still firmly in his grasp. The tramps began to scatter; thinking only of their own survival.

"Go." He urged Edwina. "It is done; the bell invites me." She didn't stir. "Edwina, get out while you still can!" He snapped.

"Think you I am no stronger than my sex, being so father'd and so husbanded?" She replied sounding insulted. She joined him at the stage, and raised her hands as well, ready to face what lay ahead.

Edward couldn't help but smile. "Just like your mother." He said teasingly. "Come, let's away to prison. We two alone will sing like birds I' th' cage."

"I will follow thee to the last gasp with truth and loyalty." Edwina replied.

"Don't move!" Inspector Boot said as he and several uniformed officers burst into the theatre. He observed the situation. Once again they had been too late. He clearly swore to himself.

"You are both under arrest!" He said, as he and the officers made their way to the stage. One of the officers tried to seize the award from Lionheart, but he would not release it.

"Drop it!" Boot ordered.

"Very well." Edward said, and obliged by dropping it onto the Officer's foot. He smiled and shrugged. Edwina smirked. The fact the two of them were so gleeful made Boot angry.

"You have the right to remain silent." He snapped, as he handcuffed Lionheart. "Anything you say will be used in a court of law-"

"Demand me nothing." Edward interrupted venomously. The change in his mood startled Boot. "What you know, you know: from this time forth I never will speak word."

"I very much doubt that." Boot said. He then faced Edwina. "You have anything to say Miss. Lionheart?"

"A few actually." She replied. "If you prick us, do we not bleed? If  
you tickle us, do we not laugh?"

"That's enough!" Boot warned.

" If you poison us," She continued, "do we not die?  
"I said enough." Boot replied.

"And if you wrong us, do we not revenge?" She finished.

"You're just a pair of deranged murderers!" Boot snapped.

"How narrow-minded Inspector." Edwina taunted. "There are more things in heaven and earth, Inspector, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

Boot heard enough, and waved to the officers to take them away. This didn't stop Edwina however.

"And where the offense is, let the great axe fall!" She exclaimed, and she continued to recite random Shakespeare quotes as she and her father were led to the awaiting police-van.

Boot walked over to Devlin's corpse. He took his hat off respectfully.

"Goodnight sweet prince." He said. "And flights of Angels sing thee to thy rest."

THE END


End file.
